Yes, I speak Thai

So the other day, a woman thought that I spoke Thai. We went out for supper, and my friend was trying to order, but the woman working there had no idea what he was saying. The items all had numbers beside them so, since I know my numbers, I said the number of what he wanted in Thai. Then I ordered everyone else's because they don't know their numbers yet. Then she read the orders back to me, and I had no idea what she was saying, but she was also pointing to the bill at the same time, which just had the numbers written down, so I just said "chai", which means yes. We went to sit down, and she came over with a question about the bill and started talking to me in Thai, and I just sat with a blank look on my face. Then she started laughing and said "you no speak Thai?" And I said no.
It was pretty funny, and I have now been designated as the translator and the one who has to talk to cab drivers, which is ridiculous because I really don't know any Thai, I just know my numbers and I'm willing to stand there and keep trying to communicate until they understand.

The language in this country is completely crazy. We live on Kanchanapisek Road. Many times, we have gotten into cabs and said the name of where we live, and they stare at us blankly. You basically just have to say it over and over putting the emphasis on different syllables, or switching your pronounciation slightly until they understand. It is so weird how in this language, something can sounds almost identical to us, but mean two completely different things. The worst one that I have heard is with the word for beautiful. The word is soie. If you mean to say beautiful, you have to make your voice go up at the end of the word. If you don't go up at the end, and just keep your voice flat, it means that you are putting a curse on that person's family. And they take that kind of stuff really seriously, so you have to be very careful. The words for near and far are also the same, they are just pronounced differently, or said with two different tones or something like that. Very confusing.

This past weekend we decided to just stay in Bangkok and explore the city a bit. On Friday night we went to a restaurant called Cabbages and Condoms. It was absolutely beautiful, and I don't know what the cabbages part was about, but there were condoms everywhere! I have pictures of me standing by a man entirely covered in condoms. It sounds kind of perverted, but it was actually in support of awareness for AIDS and sexually transmitted diseases for lower income people in Thailand, and a lot of their profits went towards these programs, so it was all for a good cause...but it was still pretty funny.

On Saturday we walked around Bangkok, saw some temples, saw some monks, then went out with a bunch of people from school. I have pictures, but they're not up yet, I'll put them up later in the week.

I am moving into my new apartment tonight/tomorrow, so I am really excited about that! I am kind of sad, because I have become friends with the people living in my old apartment, but we all work together, and we promised that we will still hang out lots after school, so that makes me feel better about it. I will take pictures of the view from my new place, it's on the 20th floor, and it's such a great view, I can't wait for that every morning!

Time for me to go do some work. My classes are watching Madagascar today with the rest of the kindergarten kids, because we just finished a month studying animals, so this is our wrap-up, so I don't even really have to teach at all, which is pretty sweet!

Hope you're donig well, I look forward to hearing from you all soon!

if you love your child, beat him

Some old Thai proverbs for you:

"If you love your cow, tie it up. If you love your child, beat him." (supposed to be spare the rod, spoil the child)

"See an elephant shit and you want to shit like him. (Try to imitate rich people, keeping up with the Joneses)"

These are two proverbs/sayings/slogans/etc. that are being taught to the grade nines in their Thai class. I am going to get the pictures that the grade nines drew to go along with the proverbs scanned so that you can actually see them. We all laughed really hard when we saw these in the staff room because the pictures are really graphic (a person taking a shit right beside an elephant)..and they are being done by grade nines!

The one with the child had a parent smiling and sweating and holding a stick beside his crying child.

I know I already posted something today, but this was really funny and I didn't want to forget about it.

This is actually the funniest thing that I have seen in Thailand so far. I said that to a teacher who has been here for a year, and she just laughed and said, "oh you're going to have such a good time here." Apparently I've seen nothing yet...

the markets

So I haven't even been here a month yet, and I am already incredibly cheap. Yesterday I bought a skirt, a top and a bag for 450 baht and I feel as though that was way too much...and it probably was. That's about $13, which is a good deal in Canada, but expensive over here. It does help at the markets if you are a teacher though. When bartering with the people, if you tell them that you work in Bangkok and that you are earning baht too, they give you better deals than they do to the backpackers who are walking around with thousands of baht in their money belts. The key is to go with hundreds because then you can take them out of your purse and say that that is all that you have with you, they will usually give you a better deal that way.

When I first got here, I never thought that I would be able to figure anything out. Now I know how to take the bus to a bunch of different places and I was even able to recognise landmarks as I was cabbing home (which is important because sometimes they try to take you the wrong way just to get more money, so now we know where we need to turn and in which direction they should be going).

Another thing about this city is that everything is loud. I had started to get used to the noise, but then my parents called me last night as I was just walking down the street and I could barely hear them because it is so loud everywhere. I had to hang up when we got into the cab because the music was blaring (and there were 5 of us in the cab, which also increased the volume). I love how this city is always going and you could go somewhere at 3 am and there would still be people all over, it's great.

This weekend we are planning on just staying in Bangkok, which we haven't really done yet, and seeing some of the touristy Bangkok things, like the Grand Palace and maybe Safari World (which is a huge safari thing right in the middle of the city, apparently it's really good). On Saturday it is my friend's birthday, so a bunch of people from Lertlah are going out, which should be fun. On Sunday we are going to go to Chatachuck market, which is a massive market that spans many many city blocks and is only open on the weekends. It is extremely crowded and you have to arrive at around 9:00 if you want to be able to walk around, in the middle of the day it is just insane...we went two weekends ago at around 1, and I will never do that again!

I hope that everyone has a good weekend, keep those emails coming!

My address

I just wanted to let you all know that I added my address and phone number to my profile, so click on "my complete profile" and they are there. It's actually the school address because I don't know my apartment address. Also, I haven't seen mailboxes at my apartment, or anywhere actually, so I don't really know how people get mail...I guess it just appears. At school they deliver our mail right to our desks...it can't get much more convenient than that!

I got to go again last night to see the apartment that I will be moving into at the end of the month. Seeing it a second time made me even more excited to move. I also convinced my friend, who came to see another apartment in the same building, that he should move there, so that makes it even better. Although this building is a bit farther from school, it is much nicer, and it is also closer to downtown and all of the major bus routes in the city.

One random fact that I learned today about Thai is that they do not have a past tense in their language. It's really interesting to know that and to hear them trying to learn English, because it makes so much sense! Think about how hard it is to learn another language, and then think of how you wouldn't even be able to translate it into your own because that tense doesn't exist. I can't even imagine...I've tried learning some Thai, and it is hard...I don't think I'll get very far! I thought that was really interesting, so I thought I'd share.

Hope you're all well over there in Canada!

Thailand is funny in terms of technology. There are some things here that are really behind technologically, like the fact that the internet is really slow and annoying, and that everyone deals in cash except for the really huge stores. But then there are some things that are really advanced, like my school. When I come in the morning, I do a fingerprint scan to sign in. I put my finger on this scanner, and hold it there until my picture pops up on the computer screen along with my sign-in time, I do the same to sign out at the end of the day.

What's even crazier is the way that kids are picked up at the end of the day. Every parent has a card with a barcode on it. When they drive through the security gates, that card is scanned, and the child's name appears on a computer screen in the office. The office then announces that child's name, and they come to the front to line up and wait for their parents. It is actually incredibly efficient, because the parent just drives up and the child hops in the car. Although it is efficient, it is completely chaotic at the same time. There are kids everywhere, waiting for their parents to come. They are technically supposed to sit in lines with their class, but that never happens, and they just end up running around and screaming. There is also someone constantly announcing kids names over the loud speaker. So from 3-5:30 every day, there is no silence in the school. In addition to the names being read over the loud speaker, there is a woman with a megaphone yelling the kids names again in case they didn't hear them. It is crazy. The teachers' bathroom is down the hall from the staff room, but in order to get there after school you have to pass through this chaos, so you just hold it because you know it's not worth it.

That little example actually describes this country pretty well. They have a lot of good ideas, but then they carry them out in ways that make absolutely no sense, well they don't make sense to us anyway.

My pictures still aren't up because, as I said, the internet is horribly slow, but I am going to keep trying and hopefully I'll get them up soon!

Back to work I go...

Hua Hin

I just got back from an amazing weekend. We went to Hua Hin, which is about three hours away by bus. The bus that you take to get there literally stops right outside the school, so we just clock out at 4:30, and hop on the 4:45 bus which takes us directly to our hotel. We spent the weekend relaxing at the beach and by the pool. On Saturday night a few of us went to see some moi tai, which is thai boxing, while some others went to watch a doi boy show, which is a show where lady boys (as the transvestites are called here) dance and perform. I haven't seen a show yet, but we're planning on going next weekend, apparently they're pretty funny.

We also experienced our first attempted scam. We were playing pool at a bar, when this woman came over and asked Xavier, one of the guys from Lertlah who I was there with, if he wanted to play pool against her. He said ok, and she said that if she won, he had to buy her a beer. He didn't really care, because it was only 60 baht, so he agreed. They played, and it was pretty close game, but she beat him and so he said that he would go buy her that beer. So she went to the bar, ordered a drink, and said "140 baht". We said, no, and Xavier held out 60 baht and said that she could take it if she wanted, but that was all she was getting. Then she started saying that we had to pay for it because it was more expensive for her because she worked at the bar (we knew the whole time that she worked there, that wasn't a surprise), and started getting mad and saying that we had to pay for it. So we just kept saying no, and Xavier held out the money and said, "last chance, you can take it if you want" and she said no, then she looked at me and said, "I don't ever want to see you in here again." To which I replied, "that's fine" because there were probably 20 other bars on that same soi. And then we ran away.

The funniest part about it was, we had been at this bar earlier that evening, and I had had a drink, and walked out without paying for it (I obviously didn't mean to do this, but there was a big group of us and I just honestly forgot to pay), so we had come back to this bar so that I could pay them for my earlier drink. When I tried to do this, they had no idea what I was saying and wouldn't take my money for the earlier drink. So although they tried to scam us, we actually ended up scamming them and I got a free drink out of the deal.

Other than that, the weekend was fairly uneventful. We've been really lucky because, although this is the rainy season, there hasn't been all that much rain yet. I know, I'm sure it's coming, but apparently it has been unusually dry. The nice thing about being at the beach during the rainy season is that it is blue skies until about 2 minutes before the rain. Then you have just enough time to find cover for your stuff before the downpour starts. When it did start to rain, we would just throw our stuff under the umbrellas, and hang out in the ocean, we were wet anyway and it was much warmer in there than it was huddling under the umbrellas. The Thais all looked at us like we were crazy, but we didn't care.

Now I'm back at school for the week. I like work and everything, but it's hard to be inside when you know that the beach is so close and accessible! Oh well, I guess I'll just have to settle for every weekend!

I'm going to try to bring my computer to work tomorrow so that I can upload some more pictures. I tried to do it through the school computers, but they are slow and annoying and it wasn't working. Hopefully I'll figure something out soon...

the nicknames

First of all, although it says July 20th at the top of this post, I am actually writing it at 10:30 am on July 21st, I think this is still in Canadian time, and I don't know how to change that. I know it doesn't really matter, but it confuses me everytime and always makes me question what the actual date it.

So here are the names of some of the kids in my class: Focus, Idea, Team, Sand, Ice, Porsche (x3), Earth (x2), Cartoon, Remote, Huge, Almond. There are some "normal" English ones like Jerry, Bill, and Jean, and then there are some that keep their Thai names like Aop Aop and Om-sin, but most of them have these English "nicknames" that are pretty funny.

Some other funny names of kids around the school: whip cream, poop (there are actually a number of kids named poop, Louis actually has a poop and a pee in his class), and the best one...tittyporn. Yes, that's right. I don't really understand where these names come from. We were talking about it yesterday and thinking that maybe they try to find English words that sound like their Thai names, but we weren't really sure. Then today I looked at my class list and saw, for example, that Cartoon's Thai name is actually Phichayapha...although I cannot speak Thai, I don't think that this would sound at all like Cartoon when pronounced...so I guess they just pick these names out of thin air.

This weekend a bunch of us are going down to Hua Hin to relax by the beach, get cheap massages and eat pineapples with chilis. Ahhh how I love the weekends in Thailand. The great thing about my job is that I haev a ton of prep time in the middle of the day (four hours today), so I have never yet taken work home, and have been told that I probably never will. I've never even had to stay after school to work. It's awesome. So this means that we can just hang out and have fun on the weekends without having to worry about doing work.

Today we are getting Subway for lunch. I know I know, I didn't come to Thailand to eat Subway, and I eat Thai food all the time, but about once a month, a woman at the school orders Subway (they deliver it here) for lunch, and it is nice to have a taste of home every once in awhile. I absolutely love Subway, so I am pretty excited. Alright, I should probably use some of this prep time to do some actual work!

Oh ya, and, I know that you can all read my blog and find out what I am doing, but I don't know what you are all doing, so you should keep emailing to let me know what is going on over there!!!

Hope to hear from you all soon!

Christmas all year round

For those of you that know me well, you know that I LOVE Christmas oranges. I could probably eat an entire box by myself if I wanted to. The oranges that we refer to as "Christmas oranges" back at home, are the oranges that people here eat all year round. It is amazing, I know that I have talked about the fruit already, but I just can't get over it. There are people all over just standing by the side of the road, selling random fruit for 10 baht--pineapple, grapefruit, oranges, etc.

These are exactly the people that the health lady warned me about when I went to get my shots. Well, actually, she told me that I really shouldn't eat fruit here at all because there could be bacteria on the peels, which will get on my hands when I peel them, and then I will eat the bacteria and will get horribly sick. I have decided to completely ignore that advice, as has every other Canadian here, because we all eat fruit all the time and, guess what, I haven't heard of anybody getting really sick from eating fruit. I think that the health people just have to tell us that stuff so that they are covered and can say that they warned us about everything.

On a completely different note, I know that I said that I would post pictures of my kids, but the battery on my computer died as I was trying to do it, and I haven't found a good place to plug my computer in at work yet, so I will hopefully bring my computer again tomorrow to upload those photos. I could probably put them on a disk and then upload them on the school computers, but that is just too much work, and this way I can take pictures of the kids from both of my classes (so far I have just taken pictures of one class). Oh, and I can take a picture of the kid who reminds me of Jeff (my brother in law for those of you who don't know)! There is a kid in one of my classes who reminds me so much of Jeff, I will put a picture of him on here so that you can see (he kind of looks like that German soccer player too...right Jeff?)

Alright, off to class I go!

stay away from the Durian!

I tried a Durian the other day. It was the most disgusting thing that I had ever eaten. I have wanted to try one for awhile, because they are EVEYRWHERE here, but I never knew how to cut into it (it's a brown, hard, spiky fruit for those of you who don't know). At Tesco, which is the huge Supermarket here, they had already cut Durian, so I had to get one. I have now realised that the smell of Thailand is the Durian. It smells like dirty feet, not a smell that usually accompanies something edible. I couldn't eat it the first night, because I was too scared, so I put it in my fridge. I woke up the next morning and my entire room smelled like Durian. I decided that I had to get rid of this thing, and I didn't want to just throw it away, so I tried it. People told me that it smelled bad, but once you got over the smell it tasted alright. Those people were wrong. It was the most disgusting thing ever, and I spit it out immediately. Although it was disgusting, I am glad that I tried it so that I know for sure now that I do not like it. Other than the Durian, though, the fruit here is amazing. Watermelon, guavas, pineapple, grapefruit, oranges, apples, bananas...they're all so much better than at home!

A bunch of new teachers just arrived, and the old ones are leaving at the end of this week, so things around the school will begin to calm down and get back to normal. The staff room has been crazy lately, some desks are being shared by three people right now just because there is no space. I am lucky, because I took over a nice corner desk, and I don't have to share with anyone. Some people have desks right in the middle of the room, which is kind of annoying because there is no privacy at all.

My kids are still cute, and I, hopefully, will be able to upload some pictures so that you can all see just how cute they really are. I really do have the best situation, because I get to teach and play with these two and three year olds, but I have three Thai teachers in the classroom with me at all times who take care of the runny noses, bathroom runs and crying or misbehaving children. It's great, and I really like my Thai teachers. Some foreign teachers have had problems with their Thai teachers being too strict or taking over, but mine are great. They ask me what I want them to do, and they help me out a ton. They also laugh at the kids with me, because two and three year olds are constantly doing funny, ridiculous things, so we have fun together.

As I said, I posted some pictures, so there are pictures of my trip to Ko Samet, my kids, and of my ugly apartment...which I will be leaving soon!

I hope you are all doing well and hope to hear from you all soon!

random observations

I have now officially taken over as the teacher in the classroom and, so far, it has gone really well. My kids are extremely cute and, as soon as I can get my computer hooked up to the wireless internet at the school, I will post some pictures so that you can see just how cute they really are. It's crazy that I have only been here for a week and a half, because I feel like I have done and seen so much already. It would be impossible for me to tell you everything that I have done so far, because there is just too much, so here are some random observations, in no particular order.

- there are dogs everywhere. For those of you who have been to Italy and Greece and think that there were a lot of dogs there, you haven't seen anything. At first I was kind of scared of them, but now I have realised that they are totally harmless, and they don't pay any attention to you when you walk by (unless you have food, then they come and sit beside you looking really cute so that you feed them.)

- movies here are an experience. So far I have seen Pirates of the Caribean and Superman (which was really bad). The movies are in English with Thai subtitles, which is great, except for when they speak a different language in the movie, and you have no idea what they are saying. Anyway, the movie starts with previews, and then they play the national anthem, where everyone has to stand and pay respect to the king. The anthem plays and images of the king and the country float by. The theatres here are all extremely cold and all have really comfy reclining seats. Apparently, if you pay a lot of money you can sit in a VIP section where you sit on couches and they give you massages and serve you throughout the movie. We haven't done that yet, but we may go just because it would be funny.

- yesterday I saw shampoo that was beer and egg scented. It smelt gross.

- transportation here is also interesting. Public transit doesn't ever really stop, you kind of have to just hop on. If you make it, great, if not, nobody really cares, the bus keeps going. So far I've been lucky.

- there are bugs and geckos everywhere. Just ten minutes ago I was sitting at my desk, and I moved a roll of tape and a gecko ran from underneath. It was gross. I also have a gecko living on my balcony, so I have to be careful when I open my door so that it doesn't run inside my room. Geckos won't hurt you, but they creep me out and I do NOT want one living in my room and running over me when I'm sleeping. They eat bugs though, and they apparently bring good luck, so I can't really complain.

There are tons of other things that I could tell you, but I can't think of them right now. I now have a cell phone, but I don't know the number, and if you want to send me mail, you should send it to the school (but I don't know the school address...) I will find both of those out so that you can phone me and send me all kinds of presents!

Until then, keep emailing because I love reading all of your emails!

first day

Hi everyone! I am at the school right now waiting for my first day of orientation to begin. I have already met the teacher that I will be replacing and a number of the other staff. The people here are really friendly, one of them has set me up with a phone, and also with the possibility of a better apartment (the one that I have right now is clean, but it's small and pretty much one room...no kitchen or anything, only a fridge).
Thailand is beautiful, but crowded and busy. On my way to school this morning, while I was riding a sung taw (I have no idea how to spell that, but basically it's the back of a pick up truck that has seats, you just hop on and they take you down the road for 5 baht) I saw two men lying, probably dead, in the middle of the street. It was quite horrifying actually, because everyone just kept on zooming right past. Word of caution: NEVER jaywalk in Bangkok, you will get hit by a car guaranteed! Coming from Winnipeg, I am constantly tempted to jaywalk, so I have to keep reminding myself to take the walkways that are over all of the streets.
I don't have much time right now, but it looks like I will have good internet access at school, so I'll write again soon!
Take care!